A Midsummer Night's Dream
by ACE and BAM
Summary: Shakespeare through our eyes. Maybe we need some glasses.


Disclaimer for all chapters: We do not own anything.

**CAST**

Hermia – Sakura

Lysander – Shikamaru

Helena – Hinata

Demetrius – Neji

Theseus – Jiraiya

Hippolyta – Tsunade

Egeus – Orochimaru

Philostrate – Hayate

Bottom –Sasuke

Quince – Kiba

Flute – Gaara

Snout – Shino

Snug – Lee

Starveling – Chouji

Oberon – Sarutobi

Titania – Orochimaru

Puck – Naruto

Fairy – Ino

Peaseblossom – Kabuto

Cobweb – Dosu

Mote – Zetsu

Mustardseed – Kin

**Act I, Scene I**

Oh, wonderful day! King Jiraiya and Queen Tsunade's nuptial hour approaches! Truly this will be a day for the ages! Oh wondrous, oh splendiferous- BOOM

Aaaaaaaanyways… now that THAT narrator is out of the way we can get on with the story. This is the story of four lovers; Sakura, Shikamaru, Hinata, and Neji (No that doesn't mean they're all one big pairing. We don't do that kind of thing here). We join the aforementioned King and Queen in their throne room…

"Oh, fair Tsunade," Jiraiya said in a seductive tone, "I wooed thee with my sword, and I won thy love doing thee injuries." He winked at her, and in the next few seconds found himself on the floor. "Hey, you said you would reward me if I stuck to the script!"

Tsunade cracked her knuckles and said, "Yes, but you said the exact part I didn't want you to say." Jiraiya got up uneasily and limped toward her.

"Oh, come on now. We're going to be husband and wife in a few days. I think I should be allowed to say things like that without getting hit!"

Before Tsunade could retort, Hayate interrupted them. "Um sir, cough should I go get everybody together? coughcough"

"Yes!" Jiraiya said, thankful for the fact that he'd been spared from Tsunade's wrath. "Go stir up the Konoha youth to merriment! Awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth; turn melancholy forth to funerals; the pale companion is not for our pomp."

Hayate stared at him for a few moments before asking, "Sir, cough what are you on?"

"Me? Why I'm on the love of a fair most curvaceous woman." This comment earned him a few more punches in the face, and a few more knees to the groin. While Jiraiya withed on the ground in pain, Hayate went off to "stir up the Konoha youth." Whatever that means. Jiraiya slowly got back up and whimpered, "Why are you so cruel?"

At that point, Orochimaru, Sakura, Shikamaru, and Neji walked in to the throne room. Uninvited. They could've at least knocked. "You guys could've at least knocked," Jiraiya said.

"Sssssorry, your _highness_," Orochimaru said in a sarcastic tone. "I've come on important business."

"What would that be?"

"My daughter, Sakura," he said, pointing at said pink-haired girl, "refuses to marry the man I have given consent to, Neji. She claims to be in love with Shikamaru. So now I have come to you, _oh most gracious king of Konoha, _so that she will consent to marry him or be put to death, as is Konoha law." Sakura, Shikamaru, and Neji all had looks of confusion on their faces. Sakura at the claim of her love for Shikamaru; Shikamaru at the claim of Sakura's love for him; and Neji at the thought of marrying Sakura. Nobody likes Sakura, apparently.

Jiraiya sighed. "Oh boy. Alright Sakura, why don't you want to marry Neji?"

Sakura glanced at Neji and said in a 'duh' tone, "Because I don't love him."

Jiraiya turned to Orochimaru and said, 'Well, there you have it. You can't change her mind. She obviously doesn't want to marry Neji."

"Like I care about her feelings. I am her father, and to her I should be as a _**God**_," Orochimaru said, thunder crackling outside. Except it was sunny. "Besides, as I said before, by law she has to marry Neji or she dies."

"Oh snap, I can't argue with the law. All right, Sakura, you should only have two choices, but because I am fair (Tsunade snickered at this) I will give you three," Jiraiya said.

"What are they?" Sakura asked in a bored voice.

"Well, you can either marry Neji…"

"Yeah right."

"…be put to death…"

"Sounds a little more appealing." This saddened Neji. But you couldn't tell because he's NEJI.

"…or you can become a nun," Jiraiya finished. Sakura stood deep in thought for a while, thinking about these three choices. She stayed in this position for hours, days, even WEEKS, but in reality it was just a few seconds.

She finally said, "I choose option two." Neji's mouth stood agape-

--

BAM: Agape?

ACE: It means "open".

BAM: Yeah, you know what also means open? _Open._

ACE: Fine.

--

Neji's mouth stood open at this statement, feeling dishonored by the fact that she would not want to marry a Hyuuga! Not that Neji cared, mind you, he just, uh, felt bad for Sakura. For the fact that she would never know the touch of a Hyuuga. Yeah, that's it.

Everything was silent for a few seconds, until Shikamaru nudged Neji. "Oh, right," he said. He pulled out a piece of paper and read, "Relent, sweet Sakura;: and Lysander, yield thy crazed title to my certain right."

Shikamaru responded, "You have her father's lover, Neji; let me have Sakura's: do you marry him?"

"Hey, I'm only interested in Sasuke," Orochimaru said. Everyone stared at him with big, wide eyes. "Uh, heheh, um, what I meant to say, was, uh, LOOK OVER THERE!" Orochimaru shouted and pointed in a random direction. Of course nobody looked, but Orochimaru still ran way like a coward.

Jiraiya ran after him yelling, "Wait, I have a few questions for you!" with Tsunade in close pursuit. The three left in the room stood around and looked at each other, not really saying anything.

"So, uh, yeah, I'm just going to be leaving now," Neji said, and he proceeded to do so.

Shikamaru and Sakura looked at each other. Sakura took out a piece of paper and glanced at it. She then said, "Alright, it looks like we're supposed to agree to meet up in the woods outside Konoha."

Shikamaru took out his own script and said, "Wow, you managed to compile twelve lines into one sentence. Good job. And, um, oh look, here comes Hinata."

Hinata enters, looking very angry; but it's Hinata, so it comes as looking really disturbing instead. "Hey, Hinata."

Hinata's face went back to her normal shy look when Sakura spoke to her. "H-h-hello Sakura. I w-was wondering something; why does Neji-niisan love you so?"

"Honestly, I don't think he loves me, Hinata."

"Nonsense!" Hinata yelled, surprising even herself. She continued, "I've seen the way he looks at you! How he longs to be with you!"

Sakura scratched the back of her head and said, "I think those are just sideways glances."

"No, they're not! It's you he loves, not me!" Hinata started crying at this point, and Shikamaru decided this was his time to leave. Sakura quickly followed. Hinata stopped her fake crying and looked up.

"Well, I shall just have to tell Neji about their plans to run away tomorrow night. Then he will be sure to love me! **Hahahahahahahaha!!**" she laughed maniacally and very out-of-character like. She exited the room, leaving it empty. And the room was sad, because nobody was in it. But nobody cared about how the room felt.


End file.
